The Black Hole of Motherhood

When I became a mum, I was full of questions for my mum.

What age did I sit up, roll over, sleep through for the first time?

I remember being stunned when my mum said she couldn’t remember.

How could you forget all these things?

I’m now into my 8th year of being a mum and I can barely remember their birth weights.

Thank heavens for baby records.

If you remember to write in them.

This memory loss has in the past made me feel bad but I think it is natures way.

Let me digress.

I had my children really close together – they are 16 months apart.

They both didn’t get the sleeping through memo and I was awake for what felt like 3 years solidly.

It was so so hard.

I was a stay at home mum with a business too.

Staying at home with children was never something I planned and was the hardest thing I will ever do.

I kind of remember it feeling like a really dark time and wanting to walk out of the house and never come back on the really bad days.

But the magic of mother nature is painting over that now.

I look at photos and all I see is happiness.

I can barely remember the bad days and how I felt.

So I am glad I can’t remember what time of day it was when they took their first steps or what their favourite food was.

I just know I was there every day to catch them when they fell, wipe their messy faces and cuddle them to sleep.

That’s all the memories I need.

Happy Days

Happy Days




2 thoughts on “The Black Hole of Motherhood

  1. redrosemummy says:

    Lovely post, I remember this conversation with my own Mum and getting so frustrated with her when she didn’t know, or got me mixed up with my brothers. In many ways that’s another reason I’m so pleased I blog as those milestones get recorded that way and the time frame is much clearer!

    • bbeveboo says:

      So wish I started blogging earlier. I wonder if our children will be sharing their childhood blogs with each other when they are older or hiding them!

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