A Brand New Ride

Things have been so busy since we got back from our lovely family holiday.

I want to blog about that but not had time.

We’ve moved into our new fabulous office.

Want to blog about that but not had time.

I’ve never got enough time.

I’m used to that by now.

Well, I thought I was.

Changes are afoot.

Scary ones.

Big ones.

Don’t know what they are but I can sense it.

I got on a roller coaster when I started Baba+Boo.

It was pretty hard to get used to, but I did.

The ups and downs became so comfortable, not so scary any more.

After a few meeting with some very good people last week.

People who know what they are doing.

Who aren’t here by accident like me.

They made my realise that the time has come to get on a new ride.

It is much, much bigger.

I’m about to embrace new challenges and it’s been quite hard on my brain.

I knew this drive inside me was never going to go away.

But I never knew it would burn so deep.

And here I am.

About to enter the world of proper growth strategies and employing lots more people.

Being a boss.

Wow.

Scary.

But yes.

Exciting times are afoot.

 

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Fussy Eating 1 Mummy 0

My children’s eating habits have always been the hardest thing about parenting for me.

I have turned a corner with the boy though, thankfully.

Using the hints from the book ‘French Kids Eat Everything’ worked a treat with him.

I wrote about this on the Baba+Boo blog.

He’ll eat anything in front of him now.

He even tried my lobster on holiday and loved it.

It sent Boo the completely wrong way.

She became so much worse and she became nervous and scared at meal-times.

It was distressing for both of us.

The first thing she asked in the morning was ‘what is for tea’ tonight.

So so stressful.

I was giving her a fear of food.

She struggles with new things in every aspect of life.

It all needs to be on her terms.

She needs order and she needs to be in control.

Very like me.

So I realised I need to start again with her.

And trying new foods needs to be her choice.

Now on Sunday, we sit and plan what she wants for her tea all week.

I have a very clever mummy, who made me a gorgeous family meal planner.IMG_3738

She is so much calmer.

She only has a limited choice of foods to choose from.

I’m really hoping that they will increase.

I’m actually quite certain that she will start trying new foods.

The foods she likes are not the healthiest of choices.

But so what.

She is happier.

We are both less stressed.

I am sure one day, she will like lobster too.

 

The School Run

If you asked me one of the main reasons why I wanted to have my own business.

You would get this answer.

The school run.

I wanted to be the one to drop the children off at school.

The one to see their happy faces running out of school.

I’m grateful  that the school run is part of my day.

Grateful every day.

The moments before the school run are not that romantic.

Getting them ready.

Gathering homework together.

Making packed lunches.

Stressful at times.

But then you see this at home time.

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Grateful for my business.

Grateful that is allows me to have these precious memories.

Looking Back

I attended a baby event today with other baby advisory companies.

It was called Life After Birth.

It was all about the things you need help with after birth.

It took me right back to my beginnings of being a mum.

I wasn’t expecting to be so emotional today.

I was just there to show parents why I think they should use cloth nappies.

Lisa from Daisy Birthing did a talk about positive birthing.

Claire from Baby Calm did a talk about how your baby is meant to be close to you.

Kat from Sale Sling Library did a talk about slings and how much of a positive impact they have on parenting.

It made me think about the birth of my first child.

I had pre-eclampsia, so I was induced as I we were in danger.

I wasn’t stressed though, so I think it went as well as it could be

But being a new mum was so far from what it would be.

My baby wouldn’t settle.

He didn’t like his pram.

He didn’t like his moses basket.

He didn’t like car seat.

I know now that he wasn’t designed to like them.

He was designed to me as close to me as possible.

He is 6 now and still likes to be attached to me.

When Kat talked about the importance of slings.

I felt sad.

I wished I had used one with the boy.

It would have saved my sanity.

It would have made my boy happier.

So many regrets.

Well maybe not regrets, just wish I knew better moments.

I actually makes me broody.

I want to do it all again, just so I can do it right.

It’s not going to happen though.

The fella said I can get a dog instead.

Feeling The Fear and Doing It Anyway

I read this book by Susan Jeffers in May last year.

I’ve always been shy and nervous of new situations.

Meeting new people especially.

So I bought this book to try and get over this fear.

It had held me back.

I am a firm believer in changing things if you are not happy with them.

I read it and then put it away.

Didn’t really embrace it but one thing stuck with me.

Making your comfort zone bigger.

So on New Years Day 2014, I wrote down resolutions that would make my zone bigger.

I checked in on them yesterday.

I’ve done a lot of them.

Go to a gym class, which I had a huge phobia of.

Check.

Be brave.

Going to do a school talk tomorrow about waste – my suggestion.

Check.

Get a personal trainer.

It actually hurts to sit down after last night’s session.

Check.

I wished I have tried to make my comfort zone bigger a long time ago.

I get butterflies in my tummy for things still but I know how to channel them now.

I got asked to be a guest speaker at a business event last week.

I would have actually run away at the thought a year ago.

Nervous? Yes.

Looking forward to it? Yes.

I barely recognise me.

I’m definitely doing it anyway.

My Children Make Me Brave

I went to a high school to be interviewed by pupils today.

It is National Careers Week and I was invited along by Naomi from Enterprise Lab.

There was a social media newsroom set up and I was interviewed by the You Tube team.

I was pretty nervous as I had no idea what I was going to be asked.

There was a girl who was going to interview me along with 3 other pupils.

She looked petrified.

It was like looking at me when I was her age.

I was painfully shy and my lack of confidence was crippling.

I told her I was more nervous than her but it didn’t help.

Like it wouldn’t have helped me.

Looking at her made me realise how far I have come.

Since I was that shy schoolgirl.

My children made me brave.

You can’t be shy when you have to speak up for your little babies.

I left my comfort zone to take them to baby groups.

You have to face new situations all the time when you become a mum.

I need them to be brave and confident.

I need to be everything I want them to be.

I make sure I do things that scare me all the time.

In my business Baba+Boo.

And outside of that too.

I showed the children the video interview I did today.

Boo was concerned about why there was only one girl and three boys interviewing me.

The boy cried.

He was proud.

He didn’t know how to tell me that though.

It was a new emotion for him to understand.

He said he was happy I was talking to the school children.

He said he was happy I was his Mummy.

I made him proud for the first time.

It’s come full circle.

They gave me my confidence.

My children.

Thank you for making me brave.

Every day.

courage-is-being-scared-to-death-but-saddling-up-anyway-John-Wayne

How can I help you little girl? I’m all yours…

You have found it tough recently.

I’m not completely sure why.

Is it because your brother has had birthday attention?

Is it because Mummy has been really busy at work?

Is it because life hasn’t been in the order you are used to?

I know you need order.

You need it so desperately.

You have started being so demanding again.

After months of you being patient and seeming happier.

You are so competitive with your brother, especially over me.

You are shouting at us all.

You are whinging all the time, saying you are in pain.

Either you arm hurts. Or your leg. Or your throat.

But I don’t think they do.

Something is not computing in your little brain.

You just don’t know how to tell me what it is.

I think you need some one on one attention.

I’m going to try that for starters.

So tomorrow, I’m all yours.

We can do whatever you want and I am not going to say no.

I’m not going to say ‘in a minute’.

I’m going to say ok.

You are a complex little thing.

So unlike your brother, who is easy going and will do whatever to go with the flow.

Your flow is so much different and I need to take the time out to work out where you want to go.

Life is so busy and I am so sorry for not helping you make sense of the world.

I forget you need more help sometimes.

You are so like me.

You need things to be tidy, neat and ordered.

You need to know what comes next and get stressed when things are not happening like you think they should.

I become irritated when you whinge and even more so when you are mean to your brother.

You get my attention by doing naughty things.

But I shout.

Then hate myself for it.

That’s not what either of us need.

It’s a vicious circle.

But tomorrow I will break it little girl.

I promise.

No more tears and no more sad faces.

From either of us.

PicMonkey Collage (10)

Dear Matilda Mae

The day I read your mummy’s tweet, my heart broke in two for her.

It continues to shatter every time I read her blog where she shares the pain she is in.

There are a lot of times when I am completely lost for words about what she is going through.

Your mummy is never lost for words though.

That is what helps her get through every day.

Her words are helping other mummies and daddies going through the same pain.

Her words are raising awareness for of SIDS alongside  The Lullaby Trust.

Your mummy’s words have made lots of mummies cuddle their babies tighter.

There have been words to make sure we all appreciate every single moment with our babies.

Your mummy’s words have made sure we are all being the best mummy’s we can be.

Your mummy is a wonder, but you already know that.

Keep sending her your strength Matilda.

Keep your arms wrapped around her.

Sleep tight Matilda Mae xxx

My boy sending bubbles to Matilda on her Welly Walk in May

My boy sending bubbles to Matilda on her Welly Walk in May

A Moment At The Nativity Play

On Tuesday my daughter was a snowflake.

Today my son was an Elf.

Today I ended up having a moment.

For those with school age children, you will know the work that December brings.

Sorting nativity outfits.

Helping them learn lines and songs.

Selling raffle tickets for the Christmas fair.

Bringing in bottles for the Christmas fair.

Christmas parties mean bringing in food.

Own clothes days and the stress of choosing clothes for them.

Toy days.

Presents for teachers.

You need a helper to remember what is going on at school.

Never mind, all the other Christmas stuff that is going on.

All this sounds like I am bah humbug.

Far from it, I am right up there as one of the biggest fans of the Christmas season.

You just don’t know all this is coming before they go to school.

But then today, I watched my boy elf and his own class wishing all the parents a Merry Christmas by shouting and singing.

I just melted.

My eyes filled with tears.

Then, right then, it shook me to the core that we  borrow these perfect little people for a short while.

He will only do one more nativity play and then he will be moving onto carol services.

He’s growing up so quickly.

He saw me full of tears and ran from his chair to give me a kiss.

That was a moment I will treasure forever.

The fitness bug

Feel quite proud of myself tonight.

I completed my 5th session with a personal trainer and it is getting harder and harder.

He tells me I am getting fitter, so he is making it harder.

Tonight, I was outside in the dark.

For those that know me, this is a huge feat in itself.

It was also cold but I am strangely not bothered about that so much.

Tonight, I had a rope around my waist and I had to run up a road running pulling my trainer behind.

Cars were going so slow, I almost caused a crash.

It was so tough but I did it and I feel very proud.

I always wanted to get fit but was always a bit scared of it all.

I love having to use your mind to get you through the pain of it all.

I actually think I have got the fitness bug.

I’ll try not to bore you with it.