The School Run

If you asked me one of the main reasons why I wanted to have my own business.

You would get this answer.

The school run.

I wanted to be the one to drop the children off at school.

The one to see their happy faces running out of school.

I’m grateful  that the school run is part of my day.

Grateful every day.

The moments before the school run are not that romantic.

Getting them ready.

Gathering homework together.

Making packed lunches.

Stressful at times.

But then you see this at home time.

Grateful for my business.

Grateful that is allows me to have these precious memories.

The fitness bug

Feel quite proud of myself tonight.

I completed my 5th session with a personal trainer and it is getting harder and harder.

He tells me I am getting fitter, so he is making it harder.

Tonight, I was outside in the dark.

For those that know me, this is a huge feat in itself.

It was also cold but I am strangely not bothered about that so much.

Tonight, I had a rope around my waist and I had to run up a road running pulling my trainer behind.

Cars were going so slow, I almost caused a crash.

It was so tough but I did it and I feel very proud.

I always wanted to get fit but was always a bit scared of it all.

I love having to use your mind to get you through the pain of it all.

I actually think I have got the fitness bug.

I’ll try not to bore you with it.

Mirror mirror on the wall….

Boo is known in our circle of family and friends as the feisty one.

Her big brother knows that for an easy life, it is just easier to do what she says.

Her daddy loves her sense of humour and they laugh together all the time.

I see all of this in her (feisty-ness especially) but I see a part of her that is insecure and unsure.

Unsure of herself and her world around her.

She needs routine and she needs to know what is happening as this makes her feel secure.

Starting big girls school and starting a new routine has highlighted this tenfold.

It made me really sad when she was crying before going to school worried about what she was going to have for her dinner.

So like you do when you are concerned as a parent, I looked on Google.

I read an article about how children have no sense of self and look to their parents, mainly their mum for to understand their place in the world.

I am my daughter’s reflection.

I looked back at the past 6 weeks of juggling school holidays and my business. I realised I didn’t like her reflection.

I’m pretty good at beating myself up about not being a good mum but this one has really struck a chord.

If she sees a shouty mum looking back at her, she is going to be shouty back at me.

If I am saying no to her all the time, she is going to say no back at me.

Now, when I see her looking at me, I see behind her eyes.

See her looking at me to understand.

I am my daughter’s reflection.

I’m going to make sure from now on, it is everything she needs it to be.